It will get better, “life goes on” i thought or so i was told but what choice do we really have.. not that I’m complaining at all, but it does bury me a little deeper at a time and every time it gets hardèr to breath. Going through a whole day, every day just finding you in every corner of every thought, eyeing me, quiet and a look on your face that i cant seem to define, either smiling or just quietly mocking. If it was related to the dream last night, you would be running from me while joyfully screaming “catch me babe!”, that’s what that look would mean, with a palm of anxiety. Can you ever need someone as i do, i believe you did and won followed by confetti in the shapes of heartache which i now sweep up, up to the end of everyday only to use again the next morning when i wake up just to find that this is real and i will not be awaking with you stealing the covers and my arms.. my everything. I do need help, from you with you and by you. You are amazing broken and crazy but i could handle it, i did handle it and you saw that and it scared you because it was to good. This is what i now starve for, that blue crush angry love to love so much and never eat again. I miss you and then i don’t until the next little insignificant things explodes in my heart with reminders of you in some galactic way or until the next morning when you signal the confetti to rain upon me as i will again start sweeping.. i sweep because its all i have of you.

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