Running vibrations spilled upwards through the car from the visible cracks and poorly manicured asphalt which crumbled loose gravel with every passing car, and there were allot of them that afternoon. I’ve taken this walk before but the irregular rhythm thumping from my chest assured me that this was different but my hands were full to acknowledge the message.

Mindless music shuffling and searches and finger taps on the screen were auto pilot as my mind focused on keeping the knots in my gut from tightening. A thank you to the disguised, flinging razors by non-optional comment postings from “friendless” mobile results, now this new phone infected. Chance was out of the question and needed to get checked after that bomb, I could hear her laughter with plunging direct strikes. My stung eyes open reading, her voice narrating proudly in my mind, spelled unfaithful and the infection smirking found its target, critical hit.

Rubble, shattered heart remains turn to dust from a dagger thrown engraved with her name, four hundred miles away. Unplugging ear buds, face hiding stares pretended to gaze on my phone, but my embarrassment sought the ground as people entered their cars, shuffling in and exiting from doors and corners seem to appear out of thin air. I finally reached the clinic. Mind racing’s canceled out the traffic and the children holding hands with blurry faces that quickly disappeared in routines, this one outlet now opening for fear.


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